Melodies of Nobody
by BlackGipsie
Summary: Series of oneshots and drabbles inspired by music.
1. Lazy Afternoons

**This is just a series of oneshots and drabbles based on the music I listen to. I wrote this first one as a sort of practice and it's just sort of branched from there and now that I have like 6 of these written I thought there is no point in me keeping them to myself. For the most part they are all going to be completely separate stories unless I decide I want to continue in a specific au or if you guys want to know more about one. Sequels/prequels won't necessarily have their own song.**

**Disclaimer for the whole story because I am too lazy and forgetful to do one each chapter: I do not own any of the characters or the songs. If somewhere along the way I do in fact own them, I'll let you know...**

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_Lazy Afternoons (this one is specifically based on the piano cover by kylelandry on youtube.)  
_

_xxx_

Axel loved the days that Roxas would play the piano. He loved to watch his finger dance across the keys, sometimes flying down the line in a quick, joyful tune that would put a spring in your step and would simply beg to be whistled or hummed during the most mundane activities of your afternoons, and sometimes slowly plunking down the keys, drawing out a melancholy piece that would sink into your soul and rest there for the remainder of the day.

He loved to hear a story spelled out in the few letters that shouldn't be able to put even a simple sentence together, yet they could tell you the life story of some long forgotten hero who died at the foot of the tower, flames consuming the heart he hoped to gift the beautiful princess with.

More than anything he loved to see the boy, who had once told him he couldn't feel his own heart beating in his chest, _feel_ something. The boy who was so numb to the world he didn't know how to smile, who had spent all of his existence till the age of 18 slaving away to simply survive the trials the world had thrown his way. To see that boy pour the emotions he was only just now learning he even had into the keys of a piano was something that was so overwhelming Axel sometimes wondered if his heart wouldn't just explode from the gravity of it all.

That was exactly what that lost boy was doing now, sitting at the used and abused old baby grand piano, with faded letters that spelled out a company that no longer existed and had scratches along the side that Axel himself had done when he was too young to understand what carving his name – misspelled as "Axl" in the unpracticed scrawl of a child – into the old piano really meant. The sunlight shone in through the windows that said piano was once carefully brought through when Axel discovered Roxas's interest in the instrument with hidden strings and keys that seemed to create beautiful noise from nothingness.

Roxas's fingers drifted over the keys in a tune that brought memories of ice cream after school with his friends back to Axel; memories of "accidentally" setting evil old Mrs. Park's desk on fire after she failed the whole class on a test they were never supposed to take in the first place; memories of losing all of his lunch money for the week playing cards with Luxord behind the school while they should have been taking notes on the Russian Revolution. But there was something beneath those memories of high school that could be heard in the way Roxas's fingers plunked along the keys; a bitterness that was slowly turning to sorrow as his fingers grew heavier and heavier on the frail keys and the sounds echoed through the room, sending shivers down Axel's spine. And when his fingers played the tune so lightly, so filled with deep emotion Axel felt his heart wrench at the sorrow played out on keys he once used to butcher _Mary Had a Little Lamb _with, before growing heavy again, so heavy Axel could feel the weight pressing down on his thin shoulders and he feared he would collapse there listening to what could only be the most beautiful thing those worn keys had produced.

As the last notes rang through the room, clinging to the withering flowers in that vase on the table, Roxas slowly took his fingers off the keys once he was sure he had milked all the sound from each one and pulled the pencil from behind his ear to jot notes on the sheet music before him.

"That was beautiful Roxas," Axel said once he was able to pull himself out from under the crushing weight of what he had just listened to. "Is it new?"

Roxas nodded as he quickly finished writing down the last few changes he wanted to make on his newest piece. "Yeah, this was the first time I've played it all the way through. I think I finally got the chords right."

"Does it have a name yet?" Axel always asked that when Roxas finished a new piece, for sometimes it was the only window into Roxas's thoughts he would get before Roxas felt he was ready to share what he was thinking.

_"Lazy Afternoons."_ He replied, tucking the pencil behind his ear, finally satisfied, and turning to look out the large windows into the garden below that Roxas had started to help take care of since Axel's friend Marluxia could no longer come by every day after moving into his own home.

Axel nodded, coming over to sit beside Roxas on the old piano bench. That fit the nostalgia that overtook Axel when Roxas had first started the piece, but… "Why did it sound so… sad? Aren't lazy afternoons supposed to be happy, where you waste away the time doing nothing with your friends?"

And that was when Roxas turned to Axel for the first time since Axel had entered the room, his electric blue eyes reflecting the sorrow that was crushing Axel not moments ago. "I never had a lazy afternoon."


	2. Sunsets

**This one is different form the last one and more like what most of these will be, and instead of being based on the entire song, it's only based on a few lyrics from it, which i have listed. Also, I have limited knowledge on anything of the medical variety so I kept that part of it pretty vague since it's really not what this short story is about. **

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_Down and Out by The Academy Is...  
_

"_The writers weren't kidding about how all good things must end.  
Then again some things are far too good to go ahead and let go."_

_"The writers weren't kidding about the good things will live in our hearts."_

_xxx_

Life was great for Axel. He had a steady job he enjoyed going to and made good money at it, a nice car to drive to work in everyday, a new home with three bedrooms and a nice big backyard for the children he dreamed to have someday, a cat that took care of any mice that wandered into their home and liked to snuggle while he was watching tv, but not when he was reading.

But best of all was the reason he had all those things. Roxas. The light of his life. The blond haired, blue eyed firecracker who had wedged himself right into Axel's heart. The one that had inspired Axel to finish high school when he was sure it wasn't worth it. The one that had found a way for him to do something he enjoyed and make good money at it. The one who twisted his stomach every time Axel caught his oh so blue eyes, made him laugh when he was feeling down, and slaps some sense into him when he tries to do something stupid. The one who stole his heart away and will never give it back. Their first date, that didn't start as a date, was something Axel could never forget.

_Axel sat up on the clock tower as the sun sunk low in the sky. Avoiding his family, his friends, his teachers, his homework… It just didn't feel worth it anymore. He wasn't good at school. He struggled for every grade, all by himself, holed up in his room late into the night. His parents couldn't care less if he went to school, got good grades, or did anything with his life at all. As long as he didn't interrupt their drinking and gambling they didn't care what he did. His friends were little better. Zexion got his grades effortlessly and didn't understand why Axel couldn't do the same. Larxene was only interested in playing horrible pranks on everything that moved. Demyx was just floating by, playing his music at every gig he could get._

_Axel sighed. He envied Demyx. He wished he could just make it through high school and move on to what he really wanted to do. But his designs were nothing to brag about. He had many times been told he wasn't good enough, he didn't have the eye for design, he wasn't cut out for it. He sighed again. "Maybe I should just quit high school and work at dad's shop. Obviously I'm not good enough for anything else."_

"_That's quitter talk, Axel." Axel spun around to find the source of the voice to find that blond boy that he had seen several times at school. Roxas. That junior who had lots of friends; who got along with his teachers; who was top of his class._

"_So what if it is? What's it to you?"_

"_Well, I think you have a lot more potential than working in some mechanics shop." Axel looked Roxas up and down, almost like he was crazy. He was kind of small, probably around 5'5", almost a foot shorter than Axel, and thin. His face was still rounded from childhood, but was starting to get that mature edge to it. His sunshine blond hair was complete bed head, like "I just had sex", and Axel wasn't sure if it was planned out or he just woke up that way. And his eyes. A bright blue that rivaled his favorite ice cream treat, and full of… hope._

"_You don't know me." Axel finally told him._

"_No, I don't suppose I do. But I would like to. And I have seen some of your drawings. I think there is potential there. You just need… the right inspiration." Roxas gave Axel the most genuine smile he had ever seen._

"_And what, you think you're that inspiration?" Axel snorted at the thought._

"_I don't know. But I think it's worth a shot, don't you?" Axel watched Roxas again, unsure of what to think of this kid. He didn't even know Axel, not really, and yet he wanted to help him, wanted to… be with him? Axel just didn't know what to make of the whole situation. _

"_I suppose… it can't hurt." Axel finally told him, looking back at the setting sun. They simply watched in silence until the sun had dipped below the horizon and Axel scowled at it. "I hate sunsets."_

"_Why?"_

"_Why not? The sun, that brings light, and life, and happiness to the world is gone. It leaves us everyday to hide behind the rest of the world, leaving us in darkness for hours." Axel scowled more until Roxas laughed, a light, happy laugh that had Axel looking at him like he was crazy._

"_Well with that outlook I can see how you would hate sunsets." Roxas explained. "There is so much more to a sunset that just an ending. Even the sun can't be with us always; it has to go shine for those on the other side of the world too. But it doesn't just leave us to fend for ourselves. It tasks the moon to look over us while it is away. It may not be as powerful, but it does it's best. And best of all, in every sunset there is a promise." Roxas watched the rapidly darkening sky with a wide smile and a gleam in his eye. "A promise to return because nothing good truly ends, it only has to go away for a while. It'll be back. It'll be there for you. Always."_

Roxas was truly the most amazing person Axel had ever met. In a single night, he turned Axel perspective on life and of himself around. He helped Axel finish high school, and gave him the inspiration Axel needed to push his art and designs to a new level. He was offered an internship in his last month of high school and was working fulltime by the end of the summer. He got his own apartment, away from his poisonous parents, and took Roxas out every Friday night. Some nights they would see a movie – at home or at the theatre – some nights they would go out for dinner, and some nights they would just sit up on that clock tower where they met, where Axel's life changed, and just watch the sunset, and know that tomorrow it would be back, and everything would be okay.

Axel opened the door to his new home, kicked off his shoes, dropped his keys in the little basket, scratched the cat's head as he passed and went to search for the light of his life. He found him in the kitchen, cutting up ingredients for whatever he had planned for dinner. "Hey babe," Axel said with a kiss to Roxas' forehead as he took his spot next to him at the counter to help prepare their dinner. "You started without me again, I thought we cooked together."

"We do cook together, I just wanted to get things started. Dusk wouldn't leave me alone, she really wanted to be feed, so I figured since I was in here already to get her food around, I might as well start on ours as well." Roxas pointed at the fluffy gray cat that was purring contently among the plants like a jungle cat who just ate its fill. "She'll probably be back over here to hit you up for treats."

"She's going to be a tootsie roll with all those treats she wants to eat." Axel chuckled. Once their food was finished and Dusk was given a few treats for her hard work lounging in the sun all day, they sat down at the little dinning room table to eat. About halfway through his meal, Axel noticed Roxas was mostly just picking at his food and looked like he was about to fall asleep. "Babe, why don't you go to bed early tonight, you look exhausted."

"Hmm? Oh… yeah I guess. I'm sorry." Roxas sat up as if he was trying to convince Axel he wasn't as tired as he seemed.

"It's fine. You've been busy recently." Axel smiled.

"Yeah. On top of trying to get that promotion at work, Sora and Marluxia won't agree on anything. I swear, sometimes I think they think it's their wedding, not ours." He chuckled softly.

"Slap some sense into those pansies. Tell them to get their own rings and have their own weddings because this one is yours." Axel laughed.

Roxas twisted the simple metal band wrapped around his ring finger. "Yeah, but I think Sora has been dropping hints on Riku a lot recently."

"Hints? More like huge signs pasted all over their little apartment. If Riku hasn't seen them he is more blind than I thought."

"I think he just wants to wait until our wedding is done and out of the way. He just likes making Sora wait for things because he knows how impatient he can get, but the longer he waits the more the loves it in the end." Roxas shook his head. "Anyways, I'm gonna take you up on that offer and go to bed early."

"Alright. I'll take care of cleaning up before coming to bed myself." Roxas got up from his seat to give Axel a quick kiss before disappearing down the hall to their room, Dusk at his heels. Neither of them really thought much about how tired Roxas was that night, or even how tired he continued to be the following weeks or the lack of food he ate, until he collapsed in the hallway leading to their bedroom one night and Axel had no choice but to call the ambulance.

xxx

"He has what?"

The doctor was silent for a moment, a sad look on his face. This was always the hardest part.

"Cancer."

xxx

"He needs a transplant, but there is no guarantee that it will help, and that makes it hard to get an approval. It could take a while, if we get it at all." The doctor explained.

"We're the same blood type. I'll be the donor." Axel quickly said.

"Axel…" Roxas voice was quiet, weak. "You don't have to do that."

"Yes I do Roxas. You're everything that's good in my life. I can't just let you go like that." Axel held Roxas hand, taking his seat at the edge of the hospital bed once again. "I can't give you up without trying." His voice was thick, trying to control his emotions.

"If you're sure about this, we can do the transplant tomorrow." The doctor said.

"I'm sure."

xxx

"The transplant seemed to help… for a while. I'm afraid he isn't going to make it though. He's getting weaker and weaker."

xxx

"Dusk misses you. She sits in your chair all the time, meowing."

"Make sure she doesn't turn into a tootsie roll for me, okay?"

"Roxas… please don't talk like that."

"We have to face it Axe. I'm not going to last much longer." His breathing was low and shallow. "I'm sorry… I won't make it to our wedding. I don't mean to stand you up like this." He laughed a short, breathy laugh.

"Roxas…" Axel chocked on the name. "How can I do this without you? You're everything to me."

"Well… you know what they say." His breathing was getting more labored and it became harder to speak the more he did. "'All good things must end'."

"We were just getting started… why did it have to end so soon?"

"That's just the way life goes, Axe… But just because it's ending, doesn't mean I'll be gone for good. Remember what I told you about the sunset? The good things live on… here," he reached out to press a hand over Axel's heart, a sad, weak smile on his face, his deep, labored breathes interrupting his words. "I'll still be there for you Axe… so don't give up… don't let this ruin you… you're a wonderful person… I'll be there… in every sunset… you live… to see…"

Axel looked away from his Light, out the window, where the sun was just meeting with the horizon. The once steady beeping that filled the room was getting slower and slower. He turned back and brushed his fingers across the soft, cool skin. "Close your eyes Rox," He finally let a tear slip down his face, "The sunset has come to take you away."


	3. We Didn't Start The Fire

**This one is based more on my reaction to listening to this song over the lyrics and meaning of it. I always have to sing along when it comes on and I think Roxas would too.**

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_We Didn't Start the Fire - Billy Joel  
_

Roxas had never been an outgoing kind of guy. He was pretty quiet when he met new people, getting the feel for the new person before he chose to speak his mind in front of them. He hung back in group situations, letting other people take the lead, only adding in his remarks when he deemed necessary. Axel had always been the voice for him for the most part. He would throw out a sarcastic remark here and there, but let Axel run the conversation. It had been that way for as long as Roxas could remember; ever since they were little and Axel chased away Roxas' bullies.

Because Roxas wasn't outgoing, very few people even knew he had a singing voice. Some of his closer friends had guessed, but never got to hear it. Singing was something he only did when he was alone and no one could hear him. That is, until he moved in with Axel after their second year of dating. Axel walked into their apartment after a long day of work to Roxas dancing around their little kitchen, singing into the sauce-covered wooden spoon he was using to cook their dinner. When he spun around and spotted Axel, who was rooted to the spot in surprise, his words dropped off and he froze. They simply stared at each other for a while before Axel broke into that wide, crooked smile that Roxas loved and informed Roxas of how good he sounded.

After that day, Axel would come home to Roxas' voice singing anything from the top hit on the radio, to oldies their parents always listened to more and more often. It started out as once or twice a week, with his singing stopping after the end of the song Axel walked in on. It started to become more often, and his singing would last beyond that one song. Before long Roxas would start singing when Axel was already there. He found that Roxas liked to sing most when he was doing menial tasks around the house. He would shake his hips and sing into the kitchen utensils as he made their meals, or dance around in circles with the broom while he cleaned the house. But his favorite place to sing seemed to be the shower, his voice echoing off walls. Axel had even bought him a shower speaker that hooked up his ipod so he could sing to his favorite songs without getting anything wet.

But today was not an ordinary day. They had been together for years, gotten a little house not far from the elementary school they met at and were now hoping to add to their family. Today was the day the social worker was coming over to get to know them and see their home to decide if they would make good parents for some little boy or girl. Axel had meet with the woman on his way home from work, leading her to their little home. As they walked up the little path to their home, the two chatted lightly. She complimented their choice in neighborhood and their cute house. Axel thanked her as he pulled his keys out to open the door. Roxas knew who was coming today. He had taken the day off of work – despite working from home he still had to check in with his boss often throughout the day – so he could clean up the house and make dinner for them all. Because of this Axel was not expecting when he opened their front door to hear-

"BRITISH POLITICIAN SEX! JFK blown away! What else do I have to saaaayyy?!"

Roxas belting out the words to _We Didn't Start the Fire_. And of course it had to be that part of the song that they walked in on. Axel froze, hoping that the social worker hadn't heard Roxas singing for all to hear. He slowly turned to look at her, taking in the surprised look on the woman's face. They started at each other for a moment, the sound of Roxas singing still in the background, before a smile broke out on the woman's face and she laughed. Axel relaxed a little and couldn't help but chuckle himself. Axel straightened up and nervously scratched the back of his head. He could hear the shower running, now that Roxas' voice had quieted some.

"I should uh… go make sure he has clothes." Axel laughed nervously. "He must have lost track of time." Axel waved her inside and instructed her to take a seat in their living room while he checked on Roxas. He quickly made his way over to the bathroom in the hall off the living room, opening the door without hesitation and slipping inside. Roxas was standing by the shower/bath, rubbing a towel over his head to dry off his hair some, and Axel was relieved to see a stack of fresh clothes on the counter beside the sink.

"Axel!" Roxas nearly squeaked when he saw his boyfriend standing by the door while he stood stark naked and dripping on the bathroom floor. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be meeting with that social worker to show her over here."

"Do you know what time it is?" Axel asked calmly, trying not to freak out. "The social worker is already here, we got here just as you were belting out 'British politician sex' into the shower head."

Roxas jaw dropped. "You have to be kidding me." He whispered quickly. "Oh god…" He quickly finished drying himself off, rushing to pull his clothes on. "What are you doing standing there?! Get back in there and make us look awesome!"

Axel shook himself out of the stupor he was in and quickly slipped back out of the room. When he got back to the living room, he found the social worker flipping through the portfolio of Roxas' work that they had planned to show her when they explained his job. She looked up from it as Axel entered the room, a smile still on her face. "Roxas should be out in a few minutes. Why don't I give you a quick tour while he gets ready?"

"That sounds lovely." Axel lead her around the home, showing her the bedroom, the room they planned to turn into their future son or daughters room, the study that Roxas did his work in, the back yard with the little garden Marluxia had insisted they have, and finally the kitchen and dinning room where Roxas was finishing up dinner, now fully dressed, although his hair was still dripping a little and not styled to his usual perfection.

Roxas greeted the woman kindly before waving them over to the table and bringing the meal over for them to eat. After chatting about their jobs and how much time they will be able to spend with a child to take care of them, Roxas finally couldn't hold it in anymore. "I'm really sorry about losing track of time and not being ready when you got here. I'm not usually like that." Roxas looked down at his half eaten food nervously before he heard her laugh lightly.

"I actually quite enjoyed it. You have a great voice, and honestly, as nice as it is to see you and your home at your best, I like getting a glimpse of what a real day is like for you. What you will be like when no one is here to observe you like I am right now." She gave them both a soft smile.

"It's just really embarrassing for me. I think Axel is the only person I have willingly sung around." Roxas ground out, looking back at his plate.

"Well I am glad I had the privilege of hearing it. Even muffled by the wall and the shower." She laughed. "But," She started, looking between the two men. "It let me know that the little girl or boy you adopt will have beautiful songs sung to it at night."

"You mean-?" Axel said, quickly gripping Roxas' hand as he looked at the woman.

"Yes. I am approving you for adoption." Her smile widened as Roxas basically threw himself at Axel, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"Oh my god, Axe." Roxas breathed into Axel shoulder.

"Thank you… so much." Axel said, unable to put his gratitude into better words as he wrapped his arm around Roxas.

She laughed and shook her head a bit. "No, thank you. We need more people like you to adopt children that can't be taken care of by their own parents for one reason or another." Roxas couldn't help it, he detached himself from Axel and gave the social worker a hug as well before finally settling himself back in his seat. He was still shifting back and forth in his seat, too excited by this news to sit still. "Also, I understand that you already found a little girl you were interested in adopting? Xion?"

"Yes. She was one of the first we saw when we started looking into it and we just sort of… kept going back to her." Axel explained.

"Well then, how about I start this process and set up a meeting for you two to see her?"

"That would be amazing." Roxas told her, practically bouncing in his seat from excitement.

"That settles it then. Tomorrow I will start filling out the paper work and set up a meeting for you. Before you know, you will have a little two year old daughter named Xion." Axel and Roxas looked at each other with the same excitement and happiness over this new, huge step in their lives together. And oh, how they looked forward to it.

* * *

**So this was originally going to end right after the woman laughed at Roxas singing, and she was originally going to be Axel boss coming to talk to him about a promotion and what not. But then I started wondering if anyone even did that anymore and it morphed into this. I think I like it better this way.  
**


	4. Shadows and Regrets

**Time for another one. This song is a personal favorite of mine and I hope I did it justice by writing this inspired by it...**

* * *

_Shadows and Regrets by Yellowcard  
_

A shiny red car eased down the street. It wasn't an expensive car; several years old, with a stain in the backseat, but compared to the cars around the little town it was rolling through, it was a diamond.

Twilight Town was just that, a town; barely big enough for the three stoplights in the middle of town. It only had a hotel for emergency breakdowns on the highway that passed right by it, or the occasional beach goer that wanted something quiet and out of the way. It was truly one of those places that no one moved to, and few moved from. Twilight Town was not its real name - few even remembered what it's real name was – but the amazing sunsets that seemed to last far longer than anywhere else in the world were the tiny town's biggest seller. Every brick in every road and building reflected the color of their beautiful sunset in golden hues.

But something was different about the town; something had changed since the driver of the diamond car had last been there. The people were the same, so that wasn't it. Mrs. Shaskie was still there in her little blue house with the white fence that kept her army of dogs from terrorizing the neighborhood, her face still pinched and angry when not looking at her "little angels". The driver could see two shadows hiding out of view from her, preparing to rile her dogs up so they would drive the angry old woman crazy for an hour or two.

A little farther down the street was Mr. Smith; the young teacher full of jokes and teen-like antics that made him the favorite at the little school that everyone went to. Again he could see two shadows marching confidently up the path to the man's home, bags full of party supplies in their hands, ready for the party of the school-year that every student looked forward to.

He passed his own home, his mother still at work in the early afternoon. Even there, something was different. But the shadows were there, up on the roof outside of his old bedroom window, laying out right beside each other, watching the sunset, talking in low voices that the man could hear echoes of; snippets of silly conversations and arguments from years past.

Finally he got to the little park down the street from his home. And that's where it hit him. The thing that was wrong, that was different. He could see the two shadows there, under the big tree by the pond, but it wasn't a happy scene like the others were. They were arguing. The taller, reaching out to the shorter, begging him to understand, and the shorter pushing him away, masking hurt with anger.

"Roxas."

The name slipped from his lips before he stop it. But it was there, in the open air, and he couldn't take it back; the source of the difference in this little town. He hadn't seen Roxas in three years; not since he left for college in the big city of Radiant Garden. He had received a scholarship to go to school there, nearly a full ride. He and his mom had never been well off, so the opportunity was something he just couldn't pass up, or at least that is what he told himself. But he didn't have the money to come back during the breaks. He had to work all the time to pay for housing and books and the last of his tuition that his scholarship didn't cover. He knew that he wouldn't be able to come home until he was done with school when he left, and that was what hurt Roxas the most.

But he made the most of his time. When he was not working or passed out from exhaustion in his tiny apartment, he was doing homework or studying. If he couldn't go home until school was done, then he would get it done as soon as possible. He took more classes than normal, and enrolled in the summer programs. He finished in three years with honors and had several job offers, but only one mattered, and he hoped that the time away hadn't ruined his relationship with Roxas.

He sighed. It was time to find out; time to find Roxas, and he was pretty sure he knew where to find him.

The diamond car pulled up in front of the little ice cream shop. It was the first stop for every student in town: single, with someone, in a group, it didn't matter, they all came to the little shop for its famous sea-salt ice cream. The man nervously stepped out of the diamond car and up to the glass doors of the shop, but was unable to go any farther. There behind the counter, just as he knew he would be, was Roxas. But there was more than just Roxas there. Standing beside him was one of the shadows the man saw all over town, but he could recognize it this time. It was Roxas, from before the man had left. Fifteen and barely pushing 5'5", he still had a rounded face, and eyes that were just a little too big for his face, the blue sucking you in before you could even say a word. His sun-kissed blond hair a spikey mess of perfection on his head, just brushing the base of his neck at it's longest, and his body thin and awkward like any other teen his age. But the man's favorite thing about him was the too-big smile that he always seemed to save special for him.

But the young man that stood beside the shadow of himself was different. He was several inches taller, the awkwardness gone from his frame, now slim and slightly muscular. His face had lost the childhood roundness, now all mature, but soft lines, his eyes no longer too large for his face, but still that amazing blue. His hair was almost the same as it was back then, if only a little shorter. All of that was minimal though, compared to the most important thing; the man could not see that too-big smile on this Roxas' face. In it's place was a line, slightly turning down at the ends; even the slight smile he gave to the customers as they ordered was never quite right, and certainly never reached his eyes. And when he looked up towards the door, his mouth fell open a little and his eyebrows lightly curved up in confusion. And those lips that used to have that too big smile mouthed the man's name, just as he always dreamed it would.

"Axel…"

Now he had no choice but to step through those doors and face the boy with the missing too-big smile. He tried to put a smile on his own face, but he was sure it came off strained as he awkwardly stepped up to the counter.

"Axel." His voice had changed too; a little deeper, but beautiful all the same. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you of course. And maybe get some ice cream?" He asked with a shaky smile.

"I thought you couldn't come back till you were done with school." The statement had an edge to it, like he was expecting it to be a lie, and prepared to hurt more because of it.

"I couldn't. I finished early; even skipped walking in the graduation ceremony so I could come back sooner." Axel added the second part quietly, a little sheepish.

It was quiet for a while, neither sure what to say after that, until Roxas finally broke the silence, lamely. "Your hair is longer."

"Uh," Axel unconsciously reached up to run fingers through the bright red hair that fell past his shoulders. "Yeah, I decided to let it grow out a little more."

Roxas bit his lip for a moment before saying, "I like it long."

"Thanks." Axel stood awkwardly.

"Axe," Axel felt some of the tension he didn't realize he had drift away at the sound of the nickname. Maybe things would work out after all. "I get off in a half hour. Maybe we could… do the usual? I'll supply." Roxas offered, referring to the usual bar of sea-salt ice cream they would always have after school up on the clock tower while the sun sank in the sky.

More tension fell from Axel and he almost thought his knees would give out underneath him. "Of course. I'll meet you there."

Axel lay back on the top of the tower, watching the light in the sky turn into the beautiful golden colors the town was known for. He was lost in his own memories, shadowed conversations echoing in his mind until they were interrupted by footsteps. Turning his head he saw Roxas come around the corner, two bright blue ice cream bars in his hand.

Axel sat up and took his ice cream from Roxas as he silently sat down beside him. They sat that way for a while, Roxas slowly licking away his ice cream while Axel took whole bites, as always.

"I'm sorry." Axel finally said, the empty stick hanging from his mouth.

"For what?" Roxas asked, not looking away from the sunset in front of them.

"For leaving you for college." Axel's voice was quiet.

Roxas was quiet for a while, finishing the last of his ice cream. "I was mad at first. And hurt." He finally said, and Axel's head fell to look at his hands in his lap, knowing that this would come. "But after a little while, I understood. You really did get an offer you couldn't refuse, and it was going to take a lot of work to do it all." Axel looked over nervously to Roxas. "It was selfish of me to get angry like that. You were just doing what was best in the long run." Axel let out a long sigh. "What I still don't quite understand is why you thought you had to break up with me too."

Axel cringed. He was honestly hoping that part would be forgotten and they could just go back to the way things had been. "I was terrified." He whispered after a while.

"Of what? What could be so terrifying?"

Axel sighed, his head falling into his hands. "We were teenagers, Rox. You still are. What can we really know about love?" He sighed again and looked up at the sunset. "They always say that teenagers don't know anything about love. That it never lasts when it starts so young. I didn't want that with you. I wanted real love. You had never dated before, and I had never taken it seriously." He leaned back against the golden bricks of the clock tower. "I knew what we had was special, that it was real, but I was afraid in our inexperience we would mess it up somewhere along the way. I figured me going away to college was a good time to try and get that experience, and when I came home we would both be a little smarter, and could make this work for real."

Roxas was quiet for a while. "And what if…" He finally started. "What if one of these people I was supposed to be getting experience with ended up… real also?"

"Well… I would fight for you, at least at first. But if you really loved them, if it was real… I would step back because they clearly deserve you more than I do. I walked away."

"You were willing to risk losing me in order to make our relationship stronger?"

"Well yeah. I just want you to be happy. I don't want to screw this up."

"I did date a couple other people while you were gone." Roxas admitted quietly after a few moments. "But there was always something missing."

Axel smiled softly. "Same here." They were quiet for a while, the sun finally beginning to sink below the horizon.

"You could have called though, you know."

Axel laughed a little at that. "I was too afraid to." He admitted. "I was afraid that you wouldn't pick up, and that would be even worse than not calling at all."

Roxas let out a small laugh that was more of a sigh than anything. "You're an idiot." He turned to Axel, and there was what he had been waiting to see for three years. The too-big smile that lights up his face, outshining even the bluest eyes. "But I still love you."

Axel reached over and pulled Roxas into a tight embrace. "I missed you so much, you know that Rox?" He breathed in the smell that was uniquely Roxas: sea-salt, beach sand, and sunsets - whatever those smelled like he was sure it was Roxas. "I'm sorry I'm such an idiot."

After another long silence, this one far more confortable than the others, Roxas spoke again. "So what now? You're done with college, where are you going off to work?" His voice was soft, a tinge of sadness in the background.

"Well I got offered a lot of jobs. A couple different ones from some big companies, but there was one that I just couldn't pass up. It was just too good." Axel told him, and Roxas sank a little bit, fearing the distance Axel was about to name. That Axel was going to leave again where he couldn't follow. "It's not as big as some of the other companies, and the pay isn't as great, but I hear the place it's located in has these amazing sunsets."

Roxas frowned at this, a scowl taking over where that amazing too-big smile should have been. "Amazing sunsets huh?"

"Yeah, and I hear they have great ice cream too." Roxas' scowl deepened. "And this cute blond boy who had the most amazing smile, but is also pretty adorable when he pouts." Axel added with a grin.

Roxas finally sat up and glared at Axel. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I got offered a job here, so stop giving me the death look already and kiss me." Axel told him. That perfect too-big smile broke out on Roxas face, but was quickly covered by the crooked smile that Roxas loved.


	5. The Phrase That Pays

**I'm going to actually write some things soon before I run out of chapters to put here. Not that anyone is really following (yet?) but I still feel like I should keep it pretty regular. Anyways, go ahead and read.**

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_The Phrase That Pays - The Academy Is...  
_

Everyone in the school knew who he was; maybe not by name, but they knew. He used to be "Axel's quiet little shadow", but now he was "that poor kid who's dying". When the news got out that Roxas had small brain tumors that were just waiting to go off and end his life, everyone suddenly felt sorry for him. People started to treat him differently: opening doors for him, letting him cut in the lunch line, giving him little, random gifts, and oh the cards he found stuffed into his locker. Although he would never say anything about it, Axel could see that it bothered Roxas that people thought they should treat him different, so one day in the cafeteria when someone offered Roxas the last slice of pizza despite him being five people behind them, Axel blew up. He simultaneously told the entire school that Roxas doesn't need people to treat him differently. He just wants to live a normal life like everyone else.

After that things quieted down again. People still acknowledged him a little bit more than before, with a little smile, or wave, or a soft hello, but that was something he could deal with. He could just pretend that the people that always paid attention to Axel were starting to notice his shadow, not that they pitied him. Unfortunately the looks people gave him never stopped; sure they would hide them when they caught Axel's menacing glare (because who wouldn't be afraid of the 6'2" guy with long red hair, multiple piercings, and tattoos on his face, as well as a few other places?), but Roxas knew they were there. Luckily Roxas had an idea to end all the pity.

The yearly talent show at the high school was coming up quickly, only a few days away, and Axel was beyond nervous. Not for himself, no; he had no sort of talent that would fit in that kind of show, but for Roxas. He was there when Roxas signed up for the show, and he knew Roxas had made it in, but he couldn't help but wonder why. Roxas was a quiet guy; he preferred to blend into a crowd, not stand up and take the attention of one. And what kind of talent could he be displaying? Axel knew Roxas was a pretty amazing writer; he had read any and all of the poems or short stories Roxas had shared with him. Would he read something he had written? Axel just wasn't sure, and he was so nervous that Roxas would freeze up on stage and embarrass himself. He was even a little more freaked out that Roxas didn't seem nervous at all.

"You know the talent show is Friday night, right?" Axel asked, looking down at the little blond walking next to him on their way home.

"I'm well aware. There are posters all over the school, Axel. Anyone that can read and pays any amount of attention to the walls in the halls would know that." Roxas replied.

"You know you are a part of the show, right?"

"I signed the paper and did the tryout, of course I know." Axel gave him a weird look as Roxas continued to walk and respond as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"But you hate public speaking."

Roxas sighed. "I know what I'm doing, Axel. Just trust me." Axel just shook his head and followed Roxas into his home where they would make an after school snack, finish up homework quickly, so they could spend the evening goofing off like always. The talent show was at the back of Axel mind the whole time.

Apparently the only people who knew what Roxas was doing was the blond himself, the teacher overseeing the entire show, and Demyx, who was in charge of sound for all school activities. Demyx was a part of Axel and Roxas' group of friends, along with his older sister Larxene, the ever-quiet Zexion, and the flamboyant Marluxia. Most of the school knew Roxas as the quiet kid because for the most part he didn't think they were worth his time, but when he was with their little group he talked quite openly. He talked music with Demyx, and sometimes shared his poetry with him so he could turn it into a song. He traded insults with Larxene. He discussed books, his writing, and schoolwork with Zexion. He compared crazy ideas and stories with Marluxia. But everyone knew that Axel was his best friend. He shared everything with Axel and they were nearly inseparable. So why would he keep this from his best friend? Axel tried very hard to worm the information out of Demyx, but he surprisingly stood firm and told Axel that this was really something he should just wait to find out about at the show with everyone else.

So Axel sulked. Roxas knew what it was about, but chose to ignore it and act as if nothing was wrong. He really just wanted this to be a surprise.

When Friday night came, Axel dropped Roxas off backstage, giving him a soft kiss on the forehead for good luck before Roxas was rushed off for hair and clothes, and Axel was shooed away to take his seat with Zexion, Larxene, and Marluxia out in the crowd.

As the show started, the first couple of people were nothing special, mostly just people from the band or orchestra playing their instruments, and one person singing rather blandly. That was when Roxas came out. He was dressed simply in a short sleeved, blue button down, a black vest over it, and dark wash skinny jeans with a studded belt, and his hair was perfectly done. And that was when he held the microphone up to his mouth, music starting around him, and sang.

_My eyes can't believe what they have seen  
In the corner of your room  
You've stockpiled millions of my memories_

Axel jaw practically dropped to the floor. All the years of being Roxas' best friend and he had never heard this singing voice come out of the little blond.

_Oh doctor, doctor, I must have gotten this sick somehow  
I'm going to ask you a series of questions  
And I want them answered on the spot, right now_

_Is it serious? I'm afraid it is, am I gonna die?  
Well, son, death is gonna catch up to all one day  
But yours is coming quicker than ours, than ours_

_Some things I may have taken for granted  
Again and again, well, here's what was said then  
Hold your head high heavy heart_

_So take a chance and make it big  
'Cause it's the last you'll ever get  
If we don't take it, when will we make it?_

Everyone in the crowd seemed to get over their shock, and started cheering as the beat picked up, but they quickly quieted back down in order to hear what the little blond on stage was belting out.

_I make plans to break plans  
And I've been planning something big  
Planning something big, planning_

_I've never tried to make the best of my time  
When I thought that I had plenty of it_

_Is this serious? I don't know what to think, is it all a lie?  
Well, one thing is for sure, I'm taken back to the glory days when  
When we were kids without a brash or bitter thing to say_

_Now my life is one big, make it, or break it  
Hold your head high heavy heart  
And save your strength for the morning after_

Listening to the lyrics, Axel realized that they were vaguely familiar. He had read some of it in Roxas notebook at some point. It was something Roxas had written about the time he started to get over the shock of his diagnosis and was moving on with his life, content to just live his life not worrying about the end.

_So take a chance and make it big  
'Cause it's the last you'll ever get  
If we don't take it, when will we make it?_

_I make plans to break plans  
And I've been planning something big  
Planning something big_

Roxas looked completely comfortable on the stage. Moving to the beat of his own song, working the crowd a bit, and simply looking made for the stage.

_So take a chance and make it big  
'Cause it's the last you'll ever get  
If we don't take it, when will we make it?_

_I make plans to break plans,  
And I've been planning something big  
Planning something big, planning_

_Hold your head high heavy heart  
And save your strength for the morning after_

_So take a chance and make it big  
'Cause it's the last you'll ever get  
If we don't take it, when will we make it?_

_I make plans to break plans  
And I've been planning something big  
Planning something big_

_So take a chance and make it big  
'Cause it's the last you'll ever get  
If we don't take it, when will we make it?_

_I make plans to break plans  
And I've been planning something big  
Planning something big, planning_

As the music ended and Roxas let the microphone drop from his lips, the crowd went crazy. Larxene, Marluxia and Axel all leapt from their seats cheering at the top of their lungs for their little blond friend, Zexion quietly standing with a small smile on his face as he clapped a little less crazy than the rest of the school. As Demyx came out to send off Roxas and introduce the next person, the smile on Roxas' face was one that Axel had sorely missed recently. Sure, Roxas had smiled since his diagnosis, he even laughed and joked with his friends, but Axel had never seen this smile on his face since. Axel's favorite smile; it was a little too big for Roxas still-round face, and it brought his whole face to life, blue eyes somehow still standing out behind thick lashes and squinting from the huge smile.

As Roxas and Demyx stepped back behind the curtain and the next person came out, a slightly sick look on their face from having to follow up an act like that, Axel, Larxene, and Marluxia all pushed their way over to the door leading backstage, Zexion following quietly behind. They pushed past the underclassman that was manning the door and went straight to where Roxas and Demyx were standing together, excitedly talking about his performance. Larxene and Marluxia quickly tackled the little blond, Zexion behind them to congratulate him on his amazing performance.

Axel stayed back, watching his friend dramatically fawn over Roxas for a few moments until the finally pulled back and Roxas could step towards Axel. "Well?" Roxas asked, looking up at Axel and opening his arms expectantly.

"That was amazing Roxas. Why didn't you ever do that before?" Axel responded, hands on his slightly too wide to be masculine hips.

"I was too afraid to before." Roxas replied. "But after all that's happened, I decided that we have to live our lives not being afraid of what might happen because we never know when it's going to end." He stepped a little closer to Axel, soft smile on his face. "Which is why there is one more thing I want to do tonight. Something I've wanted to do for a while now."

Axel knew what he was hoping Roxas meant, and he leaned down slightly, completely forgetting their friends were still behind Roxas, watching expectantly. "And what is that?"

Roxas silently reached up to grab the back of Axel neck and pulled him down till their lips met. It was a soft kiss, all lip, eyes slipping closed and breath mingling between them for a moment. That is, until the rather loud cheer from their friends behind them ruined the moment. Roxas pulled away, ears going pink at the ends, and buried his face in Axel chest, mumbling something Axel couldn't understand.

After glaring at their friends, Axel asked, "What was that, Rox? I couldn't understand you all muffled like that."

Roxas turned his head so he was no longer muffled by the soft fabric of Axel shirt (that smelled pretty amazing), and looked up slightly at Axel. "I've had a crush on you for a while now. I hope you don't mind."

Axel chucked lightly before leaning down to softly kiss Roxas forehead as he had done earlier. "Not at all. In fact, I'm quite happy to hear it."

"Really?" Roxas looked up fully to Axel face, the look of pure innocent wonder something Axel loved about Roxas: that he could go from a terrifying force to be reckoned with, to a confident, happy teen, to a little child in a candy store.

"Yeah. I've kinda had a crush on you too for a while. I was just afraid that you would castrate me or something if I told you." Axel admitted.

"I wouldn't do that." Roxas laughed, reaching up for another kiss.

"Yeah," Larxene started form behind them. " If he did that who would- oof" Demyx cut her off with an elbow to the stomach, while everyone laughed a little as the music on stage faded.

Roxas won that night by a landslide. From then on he wasn't known as "Axel's quiet little shadow" or "the dying kid", he was known as "the kid with an amazing voice and an outlook on life to match". The group of six graduated in the spring; Zexion easily taking valedictorian, with Roxas not far behind as salutatorian. In the fall they went off to college, Axel and Roxas sharing a dorm at the local state college, Larxene, Marluxia, and Demyx choosing to start with community college, and Zexion going an hour away to some big university. They made sure to get together every long weekend or vacation, and in the spring of their first year they convinced Roxas to try out for a singing competition that was going on not far from the college. He didn't win, but a recording studio was interested in his talent and his story and agreed to make a CD with him, with Demyx doing most of the music for Roxas' songs.

By the age of 20, Roxas had lived the life he dreamed of. He was in love, living in a little apartment off campus, going to college for writing and journalism, and he had his own CD out in stores and online. He was high on life, until he got a call from his doctor after a routine check up on his tumors.

Roxas sat in the little doctor's office, Axel's hand lightly squeezing his own. He knew Axel was more nervous than he was; he had accepted his fate years ago, as there was nothing he could do about it, but Axel was having a harder time knowing that Roxas would leave him someday. The doctor finally came in and greeted them both with a firm handshake before stepping back, looking slightly nervous.

"I don't really know how to tell you this," He started, and Axel's grip on Roxas' hand tightened. "So I guess I will just show you." He turned to put up three different scans on the board, which Axel and Roxas got up quietly to examine.

After a few moments of staring at the scans Roxas said, "I don't… understand."

"Well, we did the scan three times, just like normal, but we found nothing. Not a single tumor in your brain." The doctor explained.

Axel grip tightened again, "You mean…?"

"I would like to do one more scan on a different machine, just to be absolutely sure, but it appears your tumors are gone." The doctor smiled. "It's a miracle."

Roxas let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh as he tightly wrapped his arms around Axel, burying his face in the soft material of Axel's shirt, hiding the tear soaked smile. Axel gripped him tightly back, rubbing his back soothingly. He continued to look at the scans of his boyfriend's now tumorless brain, a huge smile breaking out on his face as a tear slipped past it. "It's a miracle, Rox."

* * *

**So... I was going to be mean and kill Roxas off... again. But I just couldn't go through with it so soon after killing him off in another one. So I thought I would be nice and let him live this time. **


	6. One Thing I Have Left

**Okay I've been kinda excited to post this one for a while but I didn't want to get out of order and confuse myself on which ones I've posted and which I haven't. I hope you guys like it as much as I do.  
**

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_One Thing I Have Left - Hawk Nelson  
_

He had to wear a uniform every day. He had to work where he was told, every day. He had to follow the appropriate subjects for conversation every day. He had to live in the house that was exactly like every other house in the city, that was decorated like every other house. He had to dye his hair because it was too bright, too different, and it made him stand out. He had to wear contacts because his eyes were too bright, too vibrant, every day. His mother had wanted to name him Axel, but had to settle for Lea because Axel was too different, was too unique, was too… rebellious. And rebellion was something that was avoided at all cost.

But rebellion was exactly what Axel – he refused to think of himself as Lea – wanted. He was sick of this life where everything was decided for him. He was sick of not being able to chose where he worked, not being able to chose where he lived, what he wore, how his home was decorated, _what he looked like._

Axel was turning 21 in a month; a birthday he had been dreading for several years. 21 was the marriage age for men. In one month he would receive a notice to come to city hall to meet the woman they had chosen as his wife. Unlike men, who were married at the age of 21, never older, never younger, women could be married anytime between 16 and 25. If they hadn't found a suitable husband for a woman by her 25 birthday, she would become a surrogate mother for women who were unable to have children of their own; doomed to be used by several different men solely for sex in the sake of reproduction, but never allowed to marry because of this, and forced to give away her own children to the woman who's husband she had been forced to sleep with. Her only chance to have a child of her own is if a couple should booth die and leave their children behind.

Axel figured at this very moment someone was going over his profile and comparing it to countless woman in the appropriate age group, looking for someone that together with him would create a more perfect child, and – he figured – would be able to overwhelm his crazy hair color with DNA for something more… normal.

Axel hated the idea. He already knew who he wanted, he already knew who he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But it would never be allowed, even if Roxas had been born a woman.

Roxas – like Axel – was not the boy's real name. His real name was Adam, but he hated that name, and when Axel had finally told him how he would rather be called Axel rather than Lea, Roxas decided he wanted to be called something else as well. Roxas was Axel's best friend. He was a year younger than Axel, but he was brilliant and had skipped a grade in school in elementary, putting him in the same class as Axel. His first day in the new class, he had no one to turn to; he was no longer able to rely on his twin, Spencer – who decided he preferred to be called Sora – and sat by himself in a corner. Axel was outgoing and could make friends with anyone and so he sat himself down next to Roxas and they quickly became as inseparable as Roxas was with Sora.

Somewhere in middle school they decided that they didn't want to constantly live the life laid out for them; they wanted to be themselves at least _some _of the time. They would hang out in Axel's bedroom and talk about whatever they felt like. That was when Axel decided he didn't want to always be called Lea, that he wanted Roxas to call him Axel, like his mother had wanted to name him. Together they came up with a new name for Roxas as well, something _much_ better than _Adam._ They spent every afternoon holed up in Axel's room talking and being themselves for several months like that, until one day they had to go to Roxas' home instead. That was the day Sora joined in, who quickly brought his best friend, Richard – who decided he wanted to be called Riku – into the group as well. By the time high school came around, they had a small group of friends that each just wanted to be themselves for a short time every day. There was Demyx, who wanted to play music; he wanted to learn the guitar and some foreign stringed instrument he read about called a sitar, instead of the violin that was chosen for him. Zexion just wanted to read and learn all that he could; he wanted to learn all the world had to offer, not just what the politicians had decided was appropriate for the citizens to know. Marluxia wanted to grow and sell flowers of all shapes and sizes and colors, but flowers were deemed pointless years ago and the only plants people were allowed to grow were fruits and vegetables, and only those that were chosen for that career. Larxene wanted to work with electricity, but that was a man's job, and she instead would be expected to cook, or work with children, or other womanly things.

Axel could remember their talks in middle school; how they were convinced they could change everything if they only stood up for themselves and demanded change. Zexion at some point had gotten his hands on a book; it was filled with stories of war, of revolution, of change. At the time they thought it was real; they thought there really had been a time when a group of people had separated themselves from their government and started new, with the people in charge. They thought there really were people who had overthrown their leaders, had really killed them all and started over. They thought there really were people who had attacked their own royal family, had killed children in order to assure no one could take claim of their country again. But at some point in high school they each came to realize that even if those were true stories, they were a group of kids, what could they possibly do?

It was 11th grade when he fell in love with Roxas. It was a cool autumn evening and they had snuck up to the rooftop of Axel's home – which they later had to be grounded for – and they were watching the sunset over the expanse of cookie cutter homes that made up their town. For the most part they were quiet, just watching the sun creep down the sky, until Roxas broke the silence, his smooth tenor like music to Axel's ear. "Sometimes I think they want to copy the sun." Roxas didn't have to explain who "they" were; both of them knew who he meant.

"What do you mean?" Axel's voice was quiet, self conscious of his rough voice next to Roxas' smooth one.

"The sun is the same every day. It rises in the morning, travels across the sky through the day, and sets in the evening. Same thing, every day. And even though it is the same every day, the sunrise and sunset are still beautiful things no matter how many you see." Roxas explained, never taking his blue eyes off the sun. He had taken his contacts out, which were a dull gray blue, not unlike the gray green ones Axel was forced to wear when they weren't alone with their friends, so now his blue eyes were bright and vibrant the way they were meant to be. "I think they thought we could be like the sun. That we could all do the same thing, every day, we could all look the same, but it would be okay because we were beautiful.

"But they forget that even the sun changes. Every day it rises at a different time, takes a different path and a different amount of time to cross the sky, and it sets at a different time. It changes. And the sun is not exactly the same as all the other stars that are out there. Each one is a different size, a different temperature, has a different pattern, and may even be a different color. They are _different_ because nothing can be the same. Every, plant, animal, and speck of dust is different. The world is made of differences so how can they think that we, the supposed rulers of this world, can possibly be all the same?"

Axel had never taken his eyes off of Roxas through his entire impromptu speech. Roxas was not always a big talker. He would usually sit back and let Sora or Axel do most of the talking, so sometimes Axel forgot just how brilliant and observant Roxas truly was. Watching Roxas, beautiful Roxas with bright blue eyes and an innocent face, analyze their society so simply blew Axel's mind, and as he watch the changing light reflect off Roxas' face, he realized that Roxas was no longer just a friend to him. He was in love.

They had to be very careful in order to be together. Not only were relationships outside of marriage illegal because of their marriage system, gay relationships were about 10 times worse. It was "unnatural" and "wrong" they had been told from a rather young age, but Axel and Roxas figured they were already unnatural – with Axel's fire red hair and sour apple eyes, and Roxas' electric blue – and wrong – they already broke so many rules in their years as friends – enough that one more thing didn't matter. They didn't even tell their friends for a while, but after a few months Roxas found he couldn't keep this a secret from his twin any longer. They were all accepting of the two being a couple and always made sure there was an empty seat to one side of the two in case someone barged in on their group so Roxas could quickly slip off Axel's lap and into the empty seat.

After they graduated from high school it got harder for them to get together. Axel, Larxene, Sora, Demyx, and Marluxia had all entered straight into the work force, each with a different job that supposedly suited their certain skills. Zexion, Riku, and Roxas though, were each chosen to continue their education for a career that required extra learning. They were all on different schedules and were only able to get together on Sunday's, which was everyone day off – except once a month when they were required to visit their parents for the day. Axel and Roxas were able to find a couple other times through the week to get together, but it was increasingly harder to get away with it. Axel knew when a wife was finally chosen for him and he was forced to get married, it would be next to impossible for he and Roxas to get together in secret.

Crossing the street on his way home from work he scowled at the huge plasma screens that were mounted on every building, projecting propaganda. "Uniformity is happiness." "The Unity knows best." "The Unity cares about you." "The Unity wants what is best for all its children." The crap they spewed at the citizens of this _glorious_ town disgusted Axel. He knew they didn't really care about the people they called their "children". They just wanted to control them. He knew that one wrong move would land you in jail, and most likely put to death for rebellion or disrupting the peace, or some other crap like that. It all made Axel's skin crawl, and his standard uniform make his skin itch. He was pretty sure he had developed some sort of allergy towards all this uniformity that was forced on him.

He was getting home later than usual that night, and unfortunately it was a night he normally got to see Roxas. All because his stupid boss wanted to talk about how "unsatisfactory" his work ethic has been. He hated it. They put unrealistic expectations on everyone and expected them to exceed them every time. It was insane. Axel chose to do the bare minimum. What could they really do to him? He was guaranteed a home and utilities and food unless he broke a law. Unsatisfactory work was not breaking a law. He figured the worst that could happen is he gets demoted to some even crappier job than fixing up the cream of the crop's cars. And it's not like that would change his work ethic. If anything, it would make it worse.

Axel trudged through his front door. After high school, like every other man, he was moved into a home of his own. Standard 4 bedroom, 3 bath with a full kitchen, dinning room, living room, study, and basement that was half gym, half den. Once he was married, his new wife would move out of her parents home to live with him and they could start their own family. He dreaded that day.

The next day he found himself in his mother's kitchen again while she made the two of them breakfast. His father had died from an unknown illness years ago, which was why he had no siblings. His mother was very similar to him: tall and slender, with dark red hair that she was forced to dye to a plain brown, with stormy gray green eyes that his stupid contacts were a poor replica of. But their biggest similarity came in the form of rebellion. She hated their society as much as he did. She decided to call him Axel when they were alone, the same way his friends did; she hadn't when he very young because his father disapproved, but after his death she began to call him by the name she always wanted him to have.

"How is Roxas?" She had a rougher voice, not unlike Axel's; and while she was always polite and kind, there was always an undertone of rebellion to her voice. Like at any moment she might start spewing a reformation speech or a string of profanities the likeness of which no one had heard in years. Axel had told her all about his relationship with Roxas and the things he and his friends talked about behind closed doors a few years ago after a particularly furious conversation they had where she talked down their government quite a lot. She was happy to hear he was trying to make his life happy despite the constraint that was put on them all.

"He's doing well." Axel replied with a slight sigh. "They got him pretty busy at school. He's the star student of his program." Axel explained with an undertone of resentment, knowing that the schoolwork they had Roxas doing was one of the reasons he only got to see Roxas once or twice a week and only for an hour at a time recently.

His mother frowned slightly as she turned from the stove, bringing the pot of fruit sauce over to the table for them to pour over the waffles she had made. "Your birthday is in only a month now."

Axel hand faltered as he brought a waffle to his plate. "Don't remind me." He scowled.

She sighed and shook her head. "I know you don't want to marry some random woman, but there isn't anything you can do about that. Besides, there are some things to look forward to about it. I can't wait to see a little Axel running around." She smiled at the thought.

Axel scowled. He didn't particularly like children and he figured if he couldn't raise them with Roxas, he didn't want to raise them at all. "I'm so sick of thinking there is nothing I can do. What is the point of life if I can't be happy?"

"Oh sweetheart, we just have to be happy with what we have. We have to be thankful for the things we do have, and the happiness we do have." Here was where she and Axel greatly differed. She was content to deal with the crap their government put them through and find happiness where she could. It didn't matter how much she disagreed with what they thought; she didn't think there was anything they could do about it and so was content to find happiness where she could. But Axel was growing sick of taking all the crap that was put on him and his friends. He was pretty sure once he had a wife he was expected to go home to each night, was expect to _sleep_ with, that he would no longer be able to see Roxas alone, at least for not any measurable amount of time. And what was life if it wasn't filled with his love?

It was in that moment, sitting at his mothers table, in a kitchen that was identical to the one in his own home, and every other home in the town, eating waffles slathered in a berry syrup, he decided that it was time something was done about all this crap. He was pretty sure his friends, or at least Roxas, would agree. Something had to be done.

In the end it was only Roxas, Sora, and Riku that agreed to do something with him. Larxene had recently found out she was pregnant and refused to risk an unborn child for her own possible happiness. Marluxia was working in the greenhouses breeding plants –whatever _that_ meant – and he really was enjoying his life at the moment. Demyx had been chosen to be a music teacher and was currently back in school to learn many different instruments – he was practically floating on a cloud. Zexion had been given access to the entire library at city hall and believed they needed more information on previous rebellions before they started their own, but Axel couldn't go on like this anymore. He had to do something _now._

The four of them had gotten together that next Sunday and discussed what they needed to do and by the end of it they knew there were two possible outcomes. The first, and preferable, outcome would be that the people all agreed with what they had to say and would rise up along side them and fight back against the government together. But that was barely more than a hopeful dream. People, even if they did agree, would be afraid. They would be afraid of what would happen to them, what would happen if they let their opinions be know, and would be afraid they were the only other ones to agree and think they didn't stand a chance. They knew the second option would most likely happen.

They knew they would probably not get any feedback from the people. They would probably be quickly taken down by the police and killed for their insolence. But it had to be done. _Someone_ had to take the first step. _Someone_ had to plant the idea in the minds of all those people. And Axel was afraid that no one else would have the guts to do it, and he knew that even if someone did, he didn't have the willpower to wait around for them anymore. He didn't want to be forced into marriage with some random woman. He would much rather die knowing Roxas was the only person for him.

They planned to make their scene the next Sunday, a week before Axel's 21 birthday. That Saturday night, Roxas snuck out of his home in the middle of the night and over to Axel's home. They wanted to spend their last night together, and know that their last night was the best of their whole life. It was a night that they would sacrifice themselves for other people to have some day.

Riku was one of the technicians in charge of the plasma screens on the sides of the buildings on each street in the city, and he was able to set it up that the regular program of propaganda would cut off in order to broadcast their speech in the center of town. Just as Axel stepped up onto the stage with a microphone set up in the middle that was meant for police and politicians to make public announcements at, every screen in the city changed to show Axel, Roxas, Riku, and Sora.

For a moment none of them moved, each unsure of what to say. Just when Axel was about to reach out and grab the mic and say _something_, Roxas reached over and grabbed it.

"Everyone! Listen! This is very important!" Roxas quickly said to grab everyone attention. Unfortunately he also grabbed the attention of the police officers stationed around the town center. They looked up, but made no move to intervene, yet, but Roxas and Axel both knew that once he started talking about rebellion and revolution, they would be all over them. He needed to talk fast.

"You're all being brainwashed." He started. "The "Unity" doesn't care about us. They just want us to be mindless minions for them. They want us to lose all individuality and simply become a single being. They don't care about our happiness. In fact, they would much rather take it away because being happy about something is being different from the next person. And as far as they are concerned, being different is bad." The officers and begun to move towards them the minute Roxas got the first sentence out of his mouth. They needed to stop this now, but Roxas planned to get out as much as possible.

"I'm sick of having to be like every other person. I'm not happy this way! I don't see how anyone could be happy this way. I'm sick of living a life laid out for me. I want to do what _I _want. I want to marry who _I_ love. Not someone who has been picked out for me. I want to do a job that _I_ love. I can't live a life that is empty any longer, and neither can my friends here. We decided that it's time someone take a stand and point out all that is wrong with this _government_." He spat, gesturing towards Axel and Sora and Riku who each nodded and let out shouts of rebellion in some way or another. "I can see the police coming towards us now. They don't want us to say these things, they don't want us to think for ourselves. They want us to be mindless zombies that just do whatever they want, but I refuse to do that any longer. My friend and I know that we probably aren't going to survive the night for the things we have come here to say, but it had to be said. Someone had to take the first step. And you know, I don't care what they do to me anymore. They can take everything from me; take the house, the job, the car, every possession I own. I don't care. They can beat me to a pulp and take away the beating in my chest, but they can't take away who I am inside. They have no right to. And they have no right to take it away from all of you. But they are doing a pretty damn good job of it and it's time you take back who you all are!"

By this time the officers had reached the stage they were on and were grabbing at Roxas. Axel quickly tugged the blond back to him and wrapped his arms around his tiny frame. "Come on people! Are you really going to stand by and watch us get struck down for standing up for ourselves?" Axel angrily growled into the mic. Everyone in the area was watching and listening to what Roxas had said, but no one had moved a muscle except when they were pushed out of the way by an officer. As the officers closed in on Axel and Roxas, Sora snagged the mic from his grip.

"Last night was the greatest night of my life, and I probably broke a dozen laws in order to have it. I got to sleep with the man I love, to spend the whole night with him. I was happy like I have never been before, like I could never be with anyone else. Happiness isn't wrong! Difference isn't wrong!" Some of the officers that had been on Axel and Roxas, restraining them after tearing them apart from each other, now moved to grab at Sora, and Riku did the same thing Axel had done.

"Everything in our world is different, so how can we possibly think we can all be the same? We strive on difference and individuality. We are being killed by uniformity. It's time to take the step and save ourselves. Save yourself!" Riku practically roared into the mic as Sora was wrenched from his arms.

They each continued to yell into the crowd as they were held down by the officers. They had to get these people to react, to _do something_. But the people simply continued to stare, mixed looks of confusion, pity, contempt, and anger on their faces. As Axel was pinned down by one officer he saw the other pull something out of his belt to his right. He knew without really seeing it that it was a gun. Fear bloomed in his chest, and horror that the officers would be willing to kill them there in front of all these people. But then he thought that it might be exactly what they needed. It might be a fatal mistake on the officers part. It might be the breaking point of these people and will them to do something, if not for the people on the stage than at least for themselves. As he heard the officer ready the gun beside him he turned to face Roxas, another officer stood over him with a gun in hand.

"I'm sorry Roxas."

The blond shook his head as best he could with it being held down and pushed into the wood of the stage floor. "It's not your fault Axel. It's their fault. We are the victims here. We're doing what is right." He paused for a moment. "I love you."

"I love you too. I always have." Axel could hear the gun click behind him. "Let's meet in the next life. Maybe we can be together for real there." He smiled sadly.

"I'll be waiting."

The last thing Axel saw was a tear fall from those beautiful blue eyes, and he was glad Roxas had chosen not to wear his contacts that day. The last thing he heard was the sound of a gunshot.

* * *

**I'm horrible with names so I just gave them the first things that came to mind when I needed to give them more "normal" names. Anyways, I hope you liked this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I know there are a lot of stories set in a world like this one, but I can't remember ever reading one about the people that start the rebellion, the people that don't make it. It's always about the hero that leads the people in rebellion and into freedom. So I wanted to look at it a little differently. **


	7. Classifides

**This is the last one that I already have written. I have the idea for at least one more I just haven't had time to sit and write it out. I'm not as happy with this one as I have been with others, and I've rewritten it three times, one of those times being right before I uploaded it, but i hope you like it despite that. Also fanfic's document editor seems determined to get rid of my page breaks.  
**

* * *

_Classifieds - The Academy Is...  
_

* * *

It was one of those days where Roxas was bored. Very bored. So bored. Luckily, so was Axel, so the two of them could be bored _together. _Because everyone knows it's better to be bored in groups than bored alone. Yup. Makes it _so_ much better.

"Axeeeelll," Roxas whined, stretching out even further on the couch so he could poke Axel, who was curled up in the chair next to the couch with his knees up, scribbling in a notebook, in the knee with his toes.

"Ew, Rox. "Axel grumbled, batting away Roxas' feet. "Your toes are nasty dude, keep 'em to yourself." Somehow managing to bring his long legs even closer to himself, Axel sunk farther into the chair and away from Roxas' pathetic reach.

"Aw common. You know you love my perfect feet. You would kiss them if I let you, but who knows where that mouth of yours has been." Roxas joked.

"Nowhere as bad as your feet."

"Please, Axe. You dated Larxene. My feet are better than her whole body." Roxas tried to scoot farther down the couch without having to get up or Axel noticing, but utterly failed in his wimpy attempts.

Axel stopped his scribbling for a moment to consider this. "You may have a point there, but that was when I was a stupid teenager. I made a lot of mistakes back then that I regret."

"Why don't you tell me all about those mistakes." Roxas said, managing to make it an inch closer to Axel without much effort, only for Axel to put his foot down on the floor and move his whole chair away several inches, earning him a slight whine from Roxas.

"Why would you want to hear about that crap?"

"Because I am bored and your failures entertain me." Roxas finally gave up on reaching Axel without putting any real effort into it and decided to simply relax into the couch and maybe be lulled to sleep by Axel past mistakes.

Axel didn't respond, simply scratching something out quite angrily and writing something else underneath it. Roxas sighed and closed his eyes for a little while, deciding to relax during one of these rare breaks in their busy life. Tomorrow would be crazy; they had a concert, an interview, a signature signing for the fans, and then had to jump on a plane to make it across the country for their next concert. Roxas never thought being in a famous band would actually be this hard when they first started playing.

He must have dozed off for a short time because the next time he opened his eyes, Axel was pacing back and forth in the middle of the living room of their loft. "I hate it when you pace."

"I need to pace."

"What could you possibly need to burn holes in our floor for?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe that song that we were told needs to be written by tomorrow?"

Roxas thought about it for a moment as he sat up on the couch before he remembered their manager telling them they had better have the lyrics to the song Demyx had written done by the next concert. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that."

"Yeah you forgot about that." Axel said, slightly mocking Roxas tone of voice. "I've been trying to figure something out all day since you are being a lazy ass, but I just can't get the words to come."

"Maybe _you_ need to come." Roxas said, slightly under his breath, but Axel heard it anyways.

"Now is not the time for talk of sex, we need to get this song written already. _You're_ the writer. Figure something out!"

"First of all, I'm pretty sure you told me once that it's _always_ time for talk, or preferably the act of, sex. Second of all, I only wrote in high school. That was a couple years ago, Axe." Roxas heaved himself off the couch to amble into the kitchen and find a snack.

"Well you better get your creative panties from high school out and help me write this." Axel called after him, still standing in the center of the room.

"That was one time! And it was a dare!" Roxas voice could be heard from the kitchen, along with the sound of the fridge opening.

"You wore them all night." Axel pointed out rather smugly.

"Yeah because you proceeded to steal my boxers and dunk them in the bowl of salsa and refused to give me the key to the laundry room or an extra pair of boxers." Roxas grumbled, reentering the living room with a bowl of cereal.

"You said they were comfortable." Axel smirked when Roxas went slightly red.

"And you kept staring at my ass like you were waiting to catch a glimpse, perv." Roxas dropped down on the couch and angrily ate his cereal.

"How could I possibly resist?" Axel said trying to keep from laughing at the trying-to-be-angry-but-looking-more-adorable face that Roxas was making. "But right now how about you help me with this?"

Roxas sighed, putting his half empty bowl down on the table and standing up. "What have you got so far?"

Axel sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "I really only have an idea. I can't seem to get the right words." Axel handed the notebook over to Roxas who scanned the page, which was almost entirely scratched out save one phrase towards the top, "My life is like the newspaper classifieds". He rolled the idea around in his head for a few moments, Axel looking at him expectantly, before walking over to the huge stereo system and turning on the instrumental they were supposed to be writing these lyrics for that Demyx had made a copy of for them. He listened to about half the song, nodding his head to the beat and rolling Axel's idea around in his head some more before something hit him. A smirk crossed his face, and the look on Axel face became a mixture of expectancy and fear, knowing all too well what that smirk could mean.

Roxas turned back to Axel after having started the track over and stalked over to him waiting for the right moment to start singing after the music began.

"_My life reads like the classifieds  
Pages of what's for sale, what's on the auction block"_

Roxas circled Axel, who was still standing dumbly in the middle of the room. He stopped at his side, a hand on his shoulder and looking at the stereo like it was a crowd of people.

"_Attention bidders, it's line 45"_

He reached up to run his hand down Axel's face then lightly grabbing his jaw at the second half of the next line that fell from his mouth so naturally.

"_He's got a decent voice, he's got that crooked smile."_

Looking back at the "crowd" he circled Axel again like he was fresh meat on sale, smirking at the blush that was creeping up Axel's neck.

"_Hold on, you haven't heard the best yet  
He writes good story lines, he's got those honest eyes  
So take him home for just 9.95  
He'll sing the songs you like, he'll keep you warm at night, at night_

As he sang the last line he leaned up against Axel, wrapping Axel's arm around him and pretending to swoon like a high school girl. He let the music continue without him because those were the only words he had so far, and looked up at Axel. He had a look of confusing and amusement on his face to Roxas' antics.

"Okay, that was pretty impressive." He laughed. "And if you did that on stage? Showing me off like a piece of meat and hanging all over me, the girls might fangirl themselves into a coma." Axel smiled remembering the rabid fangirls they had that had all sorts of theories and fantasies about the two of them together. Their manager had asked them to ignore it for now. He wanted them to be well established before they announced that the lead singer and bass guitar player were involved and had been since before the band even started.

"Would make for an easier signing after the concert." Roxas shrugged, taking Axel's arm off from around him and sitting back down to finish his cereal. "I'll finish the song when I'm done eating. I pretty much know how it's going to go now."

Axel shrugged and decided to go entertain himself elsewhere and leave Roxas to his songwriting, but not without a few last words on his way out. "You better know you have to take care of what you started with that little show, Rox!"

* * *

The next morning Axel was rudely woken from a particularly nice dream involving himself and Roxas playing a prank on their band mates that involved several packs of condoms and shaving cream. Blindly reaching out to his bedside table from underneath the covers he managed to slap his hand down on his phone after a few tries. He slowly pulled it back under the covers and to his face after blindly pressing the button to answer it. "Hullo?" Behind him, Roxas groaned at the noise and turned over.

"You better not be go at it with Roxas when you are supposed to be writing a song for tonight's concert." He could hear Marluxia's frighteningly calm voice over the phone, but his mind was not quite awake enough yet to understand what he was saying.

"Uh… can you repeat that?" He asked slowly.

"You had better have that song finished or I am going to personally make sure you never have a fun night with Roxas ever again." Now that one he understood.

"Don't worry Marly, Roxas finished writing it last night and it sounds good enough for the concert tonight. No worries." Axel explained to their manager who got scary when things weren't done on time. Behind him Roxas grumbled something about Marluxia and keeping his panties on before the blankets were pulled over his head and he could no longer be heard.

"I want you and Roxas in the studio in one hour. Demyx and Riku are already here." At that Marluxia hung up the phone and Axel sighed as he pulled himself out of bed. After simply throwing on a pair of pants he turned back to the large lump underneath the pile of blankets that Roxas hoarded on one side of their bed.

"Common Rox, it's time to get up." Axel sighed leaning on his side of the bed. He heard another muffled no that turned into a whine somewhere in the middle. He smiled to himself at Roxas' childish behavior when it came to his sleep. He reached over the bed and started tugging on the blankets. "Marly wants us in the studio to practice the new song all together so he can hear it and it will be ready for tonight." Roxas was holding on to the blankets, making it much harder for Axel to try and pull them off. He even made a sound that was probably about an octave higher than he should have been able to reach. After several minutes of tugging unsuccessfully – Roxas had an iron grip when he wanted something bad enough – Axel decided it was time to change tactics. "If you get out of bed I will let you have the first shower and we'll stop for your favorite breakfast."

There was no answer for a moment from the blankets and Axel almost thought Roxas had fallen asleep on him, but finally a hand peeked out to pull the blanket down a little to reveal a very sleepy looking Roxas. How cute. "Strawberry crepe and hot chocolate with extra whipped cream?"

"And extra strawberries." Axel nodded, never quite knowing how Roxas could stand such a sweet meal so early in the day.

Roxas grudgingly got out from under his mass of blankets and started towards the bathroom, fully prepared to take a nice shower without having to worry about all the hot water being gone because Axel took such an extremely hot one right before him.

They made it to the studio just in time; Roxas was still sipping on his hot chocolate while Axel held a cup of extra hot double shot espresso. Axel was not a morning person. Where Roxas was only hard to get out of bed because he simply loved being wrapped up in a bunch of blankets and was much too confortable in the morning to get out of them, Axel just had a hard time waking up in general. Marluxia wasted no time getting them all together to practice the song for him.

They practiced the song so many times in order to satisfy Marluxia. After a few run through, Roxas started to get bored and proceeded to play around with Axel the same way he had when he first sang the lyrics. Marluxia watched interested the first few times before he finally said something about it.

"Were you planning on doing that on stage?"

Roxas looked a little sheepish in his reply. "Well not really. I was just bored and having some fun while we practice. I know you don't want people knowing about Ax and I just yet."

"Actually," their manager started, "I was thinking it's about time we let the public know. You're all rather well established now, and half of the fans already are convinced you are a thing anyways. If you want to do that on stage, be my guest. We'll do an official announcement later this week."

Axel lite up at that. He was fully ready to be open to the public about their relationship. He was sick of seeing men and women alike hitting on Roxas. Roxas was _his_ dammit. "What do you say, Rox? Should we burst those little fangirl hearts tonight?"

"Hell yeah."

Axel had never heard so many girls screaming their lungs out all at once before. It was rather deafening. And he could have sworn he saw at least one girl faint when Roxas was next to running his mouth down Axel's neck. Unfortunately for Roxas, the little stunt probably doubled the number of people wanting to meet them after the concert, and it most definitely tripled the number of times they were asked to kiss, which they had to refuse for the most part or they would be sucking face all night and it was very awkward to kiss in front of so many people. Despite enjoying attention, Axel wasn't much for PDA. Especially to that extreme.

For the most part the public was very accepting of their announcement later that week. Of course they had their critics and people that shammed them for it. Some people questioned if their band could survive a possible break up between the two, but they were confident in their relationship. They had been together for 6 years already, three of those from before their band started, nearly 18 years of friendship, had made it through many hardships and bumps in the road through their relationship and were still going strong. They had no doubt they could survive and make things work, even after the band was done and they were merely faces on the cover of a magazine under the title "Where are they now?" many years down the road. They would make it work and they would burst a few fangirl hearts along the way.


	8. Lullaby

**So this is a sequel of sorts to _We Didn't Start the Fire _ because I really like the idea of Axel and Roxas adopting a baby Xion... Also, I am bad and awkward around children so I have very little idea of what a 2 year old acts like, so if something about the way Xion acts or talks, I'm sorry. I kinda hate kids.**

* * *

_Lullaby by the Spill Canvas  
_

* * *

She was perfect.

At least, that's what Axel and Roxas thought. Almost exactly a month after they were approved for adoption, they got to meet Xion in person. She was a tiny little thing, with huge blue eyes and short raven black hair. Axel took to her like a duck to water, but it was a little harder for Roxas.

When they entered the room she was staying in, the girl's social worker behind them, she was instantly interested in Axel. And who wouldn't be with the way he towered over most people and the long bright red hair? Leaving her toys behind she shyly walked over to where Axel stood and looked up, and up, and up at him. She glanced over to her social worker as if confirming these new people were safe and good people, before holding her arms up without a word, asking to be picked up. Axel chuckled softly before leaning down to effortlessly pick her up. She grabbed on to one of the chunks of red hair that fell over Axel's shoulder, softly running her tiny fingers through it.

"You're really tall, mister." She finally said, her voice small and a little squeaky.

Axel faked a pout. "Maybe you're just really short."

"I am short; I'm only two!" She laughed.

"Well maybe when you get to be my age you will be as tall as I am, you never know." Axel told her.

"You must be really old then."

Axel made an indignant sound and gave her an insulted look. "I am _not_ old. I'm only 28."

For the first time she looked over to Roxas, "If he's 28 and that tall, then you must be like twelve!"

Axel laughed while Roxas silently pouted. "Hey now, Roxas is only two years younger than me." He explained before adding in a stage whisper like Roxas wouldn't be able to hear it, "He didn't drink his milk and eat his veggies when he was still growing and now look at him." They all laughed for a moment, Xion's a bright and cheery sound, before silence came back and invited Xion to question more.

"Are you here to be my new daddy?" She asked innocently.

Axel smiled softly. "I would very much like that. Roxas too."

She looked between the two of them confused for a moment. "But how can you _both_ be my dad? Who would be my mom?"

"Well," Axel started, a small sad smile on his face, "If you come with us you won't have a mom." He explained. "But you _will_ have two dad's that care about you just as much as any mom could."

"But isn't it supposed to be a mommy and daddy that love each other?" Xion looked very confused by all of this, but Axel seemed to know just what to say.

"Love comes in many forms, Xion. Roxas and I love each other like a mommy and daddy would. The only difference is we would both be dads. Love can be between any two people, no matter if they are a girl and a boy, or two boys, or two girls. Love is love." He smiled down at the little girl who seemed to be trying to figure all of this out for herself.

"Do you love me?" She asked, her voice almost too quiet to hear, a pink blush on her face giving away her nerves.

Axel smiled warmly. "Love takes a while to form. It has to be taken care of so it can grow, just like a kid like you." He lightly poked her side making her giggle a little. "But I can already tell that it won't be hard to love you. Roxas and I will both love you very much."

"How long are we talkin' here?" She giggled.

"Oh I don't know. It could be _years._" Axel exaggerated making the little girl laugh again.

Roxas watched the entire exchange with an almost sad smile on his face. He always knew Axel would make a great father; he always knew just what to say and really loved kids. Roxas wished he was like Axel in that way. Roxas had always been awkward and uncomfortable around children, never knowing what to say or do, but Axel wanted kids and Roxas was willing to do anything for him. He would just have to hope that things worked out.

* * *

Many play dates with the little black haired girl, another house inspection to make sure it was child ready, and enough paper work to make the blonde's head spin later and they were driving home, their now official daughter in the child's seat in the back of the car, laughing as she listened to her new dads fake bicker in funny voices.

They had had a lot of fun already in their time together. They went to the park several times, saw a movie, and even got to go to the beach one warm day. That day was Roxas's favorite of their days together as a family. He had made a lot of bad jokes that day, and he knew they were bad, but Xion laughed at them anyways, right alongside Axel. Roxas knew Xion's laughter was probably from pity, about as much as a two year old could, but it was okay. He still made her laugh. She had also found a perfectly intact thalassa shell. It faded from a soft yellow into blue and she seemed to love it very much. Roxas knew there was a shop not far from where they were that turned shells like that into jewelry and so they had gone and had it turned into a necklace for her to keep. She wore it every day after that.

When they finally pulled into their driveway, Xion was bouncing in her seat, excited to see her new home. They quickly showed her around the house, ending the tour at her room. She let out a happy squeal when she saw it, the walls painted to resemble a sunset as was her request. The two men had agonized over what color to paint her room. Pink? No, that's pushing gender standards on her. Blue? That's pushing _opposite_ gender standards on her. Yellow? That's supposed to make little children cry more often! They can't do that to her! Finally, frustrated they asked Xion what _she_ wanted her room to look like. Shyly she had responded that it really didn't matter; she had never been given the opportunity to pick something like that for herself and wasn't completely comfortable, but after some other questions and probing they finally got it out of her that she liked the colors of the sunset. So they went out and got some reds, and yellows, and oranges, and a little bit of purple and blue, and turned her room into a sunset.

While Axel helped her settle into her new room, Roxas left for the kitchen to whip up some dinner for the three of them. Roxas had also spent some time probing for food she liked to eat so he knew what kinds of things she would definitely eat. Of course, he would make other things and try to get her to try something different, but it was good to know what she already liked as something to fall back on if she really didn't like something.

Halfway through their simple spaghetti dinner the phone rang and Axel politely excused himself to go answer it. When he was gone for several minutes, Roxas stood up to find out what was going on, lightly reminding Xion to behave and that he would be back in a moment. She was a very well behaved child, so he knew she would be okay long enough for him to find out what was taking Axel so long on the phone.

When he entered the hall that had the house phone he heard Axel grumbling a goodbye into the phone before hanging up. He noticed Roxas watching him and sighed. "They need me to come into work for a couple hours tonight. Emergency. I probably won't be back till around 10."

"10? But… Xion has to go to bed before that?!" Roxas panicked a little. Although he was more comfortable around Xion now, he still wasn't confident in being able to put her to bed all by himself the very first night!

Axel stepped over to the blond, lightly gripping his shoulder to help him calm down. "It'll be fine. She's a great kid. You won't have any problem." Axel assured him.

"But what if she doesn't want to go to bed when she's supposed to?! What am I supposed to do about that?!"

Axel rubbed slow circles over Roxas's skin. "I doubt she will, but you could always sing her a lullaby. She'll love it." He smiled.

"I-I guess I could do that." Roxas said, calming down a little.

"You'll be fine. If you sing to her, I'm sure she'll go right to sleep. You have a very soothing voice you know." Roxas just nodded numbly before they both went back into the kitchen. Just as Roxas knew, Xion was still eating quietly in her seat, taking small bites and chewing as if she savored each one. Maybe she did, but Roxas wasn't sure if a child her age could really appreciate food in that way or not.

"Xi," Axel caught her attention as he took his seat again. "I have to go into work after dinner for the night. They said it was an emergency, so it will just be you and Roxas for the rest of the night. Okay?"

Xion just gave him this look like she didn't understand why he was worried. "Okay." She simply replied.

Quickly finishing up his dinner, Axel pecked Xion on the forehead, lightly ruffling her soft hair, and quickly kissed Roxas goodbye before he was off for work. After dinner, Xion requested Roxas read to her. Roxas was hopeful that listening to him read to her would get her sleepy enough that she would fall right asleep, but no suck luck. An hour later her bedtime was here and she was still rather awake. She simply nodded when he told her it was time for bed and followed him to her room, letting him help change her into night clothes and tuck her into bed.

"Dad," She had begun referring to both Roxas and Axel as dad after about their third meeting. She would often slip into calling Axel daddy, but never once had she called Roxas that. He was a little jealous that Axel so easily got the affectionate title, but knew it was bound to happen. Axel was so much better with kids than he was. "I'm not sleepy yet." Her voice was small, sorry.

"Well, how about I sing you a song?" Roxas asked because really, what could it hurt to try it?

"You sing?"

"Only for special people," Roxas smiled.

Xion returned the smile happily. "Okay!"

For a moment, Roxas was at a loss of what to sing, until a tune came to him. One that his mother had sung to him when he was little. But he could never remember the words, so he decided he would just wing it and make it special for Xion.

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous.  
It's your ability to make me earn this  
I know that you're tired  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_ It's about how you laugh out of pity  
Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny  
I know that you're shy  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_ If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed._

Xion had rolled over on her side, her big blue eyes drifting closed. Roxas lightly kissed the back of her neck, where the thalassa shell necklace clasp rested against the baby soft skin and pulled the blankets securely over her before slipping out of the room.

When Axel made it back home several hours later, quietly shutting the door knowing Xion would be asleep by now, he found Roxas sitting on the couch not quite watching the television. On the coffee table in front of him sat one of his notebooks, open to a new page with the lines of the lullaby he sang to Xion scribbled down. Quickly reading over the words, Axel looked up at Roxas somewhat surprised, Roxas biting his lip at the look.

"You wrote her a song?"

"It just sort of came to me when I was trying to help her sleep." Roxas confessed. "I didn't want to forget the words I used in case I need it again. She fell asleep pretty easily to it."

Axel smiled, lightly kissing Roxas's forehead as he had Xion's hours before. "I told you."

* * *

Years passed smoothly and Xion had already celebrated her 10th birthday. In that time, she and Roxas had spent a lot more time with just the two of them and came to have their own understanding and friendship to go along with the parent-child relationship. But it was still not like what Axel had with her. She went to him first for all of her problems. She told him her triumphs first. She called him daddy almost every day, but not once called Roxas it. Roxas tried very hard not to be bothered by it, and after a while had grown used to it. He could live with always being dad, while Axel was daddy. It was okay.

But then the day came that it was Roxas's turn.

Not long after her 10th birthday, Xion wanted to know who her birth parents were. Not because she wasn't happy with having Axel and Roxas as parents; far from it. She was just at the point in her life where she was curious about where she came from genetically. They were able to easily find her mother, who had chosen to leave her name and contact info with the orphanage should Xion every want to meet her. And so they set up a day for them to spend together. Roxas and Axel thought it could be something good. The only female figure's Xion had in her life were Roxas and Axel's sisters Naminé and Kairi, but they had their own families to attend to and could only spend a few hours a month with her. They thought maybe now she could be friends with her mother and have another female figure to look up to.

But they were wrong.

Xion's mother was not the female figure they were hoping for. She was a greedy woman, jumping from man to man looking for the one that could throw the most money her way in exchange for some fun nights together. She admitted that Xion's father was just some man that had bought her her first car in exchange for a few nights together and that the only reason she hadn't gotten rid of Xion when she first found out she was pregnant was because he had offered her more expensive things if she didn't. By the time things went downhill for the two of them – meaning he had run out of money to satisfy her greed – her pregnancy was too far along to abort and she simply gave her newborn up at the first chance. She only left her info at the orphanage because she was hoping whoever adopted her daughter might have some cash they would be willing to throw her way for giving them a daughter.

Xion was devastated.

And this was one time when Axel just didn't understand. His parents were good people. They still had dinner with the older couple once a month and spent all of the holidays with them. They adored their adopted granddaughter.

But Roxas did understand. He and Naminé had been abandoned by their mother when they were eight because she used all her money on drugs and had none left over to feed the two growing children. Their father was a faceless man who had been willing to pay for an hour or two with their mother. She had even tried to sell them at some point, but Roxas, in a fit to protect his sister, had kicked the man, who was looking to pay for them, in the groin, punched him in the throat, and got in a pretty good bite on his wrist when the man reached for his precious sister.

He understood what it felt like to be used and left behind because he wasn't deemed good enough. It was something he had struggled with for years before he met Axel. Axel had saved his life, literally. A week after they meet, Roxas was planning to commit suicide. He had put it off for years in order to look after Naminé, but she had proved that she could take care of herself when she slapped one of their classmates that got too handsy. Roxas didn't think he was needed anymore. Naminé could handle herself. So what did he have to live for anymore? Axel had shown him just how much Roxas was worth. The redhead had found him behind the school with the knife he had stolen and talked him out of it, reminding the blond how upset Naminé would be if something happened to him, and how upset _he_ would be. After that, Axel made it a point to show Roxas how important he was and how useful he was to the world.

Xion didn't need to be shown those things, she was already reminded of them everyday. And the antidepressants she was put on helped get her away from the thoughts that Roxas himself had once thought. She just needed someone that understood to hold her while she cried.

And that was where Roxas came in.

He had been holding her, sitting on her bed, her tears soaking into his sweater. He rubbed soothing circles in her back, and spoke soft, comforting words to her, rocking side to side ever so slowly. She seemed to cry for hours and it broke his heart. That was when he remembered the song he had written for her all those years ago. He hadn't had to sing it to her since the first night, but he still remembered the tune and the words because he read it to himself almost every night.

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous  
It's your ability to make me earn this  
I know that you're tired  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_ It's about how you laugh out of pity  
Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny  
I know that you're shy  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed_

Her crying had slowed and sobs had calmed down. If not for the way she gripped him tighter, he would have thought she fell asleep, but he continued on singing, knowing exactly what needed to come next.

_It's those pills that you don't need to take  
Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake  
I know that you're spent  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_ If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed_

Brushing the longer, black hairs off the back of her neck, he softly placed his lips over the clasp of the thalassa necklace she still wore everyday. Her grip tightened a little again.

"That was the song you sang to me my first night here." She whispered. Roxas was shocked that she remembered, as he had never mentioned it again and hadn't sung it to her after that night. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and he almost missed what she said next, but was _so_ happy he didn't. "Thank you, daddy."

* * *

From then on, whenever Xion had a rough day, she would go to Roxas, who would hold her, and rub her back and sing her song. And every time she would hug him tightly and thank him, but she hadn't called him daddy since. But that was okay. To Roxas, that just meant that when she _did_ call him that again, it would be all the more special.

Her teenage years seemed to come before Roxas was ready. She had her first boyfriend, whom Axel had freaked out over and, Roxas was pretty sure, had at some point threatened with a lighter should he ever hurt his "little girl". She did well in school, and had a good number of friends, and small handful of best friends. When she was sixteen, her therapist decided she no longer needed antidepressants, but told her to get in contact with him should she ever feel she needs them again.

It all seemed to pass too fast and before they knew it, she was packing for college. Axel had cried the first night they watched her fill out an application to a college, not that he would let Roxas let _anyone_ know that. They stood together to cheer loudly at her graduation, and celebrated with family at the open house. But it didn't really hit Roxas until the night before she was leaving for college, to move into the dorms.

Apparently it hadn't hit her either.

Roxas was sitting in his room, on the edge of he and Axel's bed. Axel was in the shower at the time, so Roxas was alone to sit and stare at the photograph that sat on his bedside table. It was of their first day at the beach, when Xion had gotten her necklace that she still wore tucked under her shirt every day. He hadn't realized he was softly crying until thin fingers were whipping away the tears. Looking up he met with watery blue eyes, tears sitting in the corners of them. With nothing but a sad smile for warning, her arms were around him and she was holding him tightly, crying into his shoulder like she had done too many times before. But this time he cried too.

They sat that way for neither of them knew how long. In the background, the shower had turned off and Axel had appeared in the doorway, a towel wrapped around his dripping hair, but knowing they needed some time to themselves, he turned around and left without their notice. Finally Roxas's tears slowed and he began to sing her song, finally finding the words to finish the song.

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous  
It's your ability to make me earn this  
I know that you're tired  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

His voice shook at first, but he continued anyways, letting it level out as he went. He knew Xion didn't care how he sounded anyways.

_It's about how you laugh out of pity  
Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny  
I know that you're why  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed_

_ It's those pills that you don't need to take  
Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake  
I know that you're spent  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_ It's your finger, and how I'm wrapped around it  
It's your grace, and how it keeps me grounded  
I know that you're weak  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

_ If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where you necklace is closed_

_ While you were sleeping, I figured out everything  
I was constructed for you and you were molded for me  
Now I feel your name, coursin' through my veins  
You shine so bright, it's insane, you put the sun to shame_

_ If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where your necklace is_

_ If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed_

Once again her grip on him tightened and she whispered the words he hadn't realized he was waiting his whole life to hear.

"I love you, daddy."

* * *

**Ok so there is like almost no Axel at all in this one, and I'm sorry for that, but I always pictured Axel as someone who takes right to children and is like... the perfect father/older brother figure besides his over-protectiveness that can get a little out of hand, but I think Roxas would need more time to get attached to a kid, and that was kind of the whole point of this. **


	9. The Lonely

**Sorry I haven't found the time or inspiration recently to sit down a write what with the end of the semester coming up fast and having to figure out all kinds of final projects for school... Ugh. This one is short, but I did write another one it's just... a little more M rated than T. So... I don't know, I guess I didn't want to just randomly spring a higher rating on you without noticed to any of you who have actually been following this. So let me know what you think of changing the rating and maybe I will write more of those.  
**

* * *

_The Lonely - Christina Perri  
_

* * *

Roxas sat in the center of the nearly empty room. The old bed springs creaked underneath him at every slight movement, the sound of the city outside his window not making him feel any less _alone._ Red numbers flashed at him, sometime after 2, the little light in the corner letting him know it was am. Getting up, bed springs angrily creaking at him, he unplugged the clock, he couldn't face the time anymore. Whipping off a tear from his face, even though another would take its place in a second, he walked over to the window, silently closing the curtain. He couldn't face the outside either.

He caught a glance of himself in the mirror. His skin was pale, he hadn't really been out in the sun for awhile now. It just never felt worth it. He lost his appetite as well, so his skin clung to his bones like wet fabric and his clothes hung off of him like his older brother's used to when he was little. There was no light in his blue eyes, like there once was. They were dark now, like the night sky he often stared at. No stars out tonight. Not anymore. His hair hung in his face, dull. He needed to get it cut probably, but what was the point when there was no one worth doing it for anymore?

He decided to stand in the center of the room instead, slowly turning in circles, swaying to a song only he could hear anymore, just like they used to. Under his breath he sung a song only he remembered, just like he used to. Sometimes he wondered if his loneliness would one day grow so large it would dance with him, just like he used to.

Some nights he couldn't even bring himself to enter this room, knowing that he would be alone, and fearing the emptiness would consume him finally. Some nights, he welcomed the loneliness because it was at least something. He would wrap it around himself like a blanket and fall asleep in the cold. Nothing was warm anymore.

He continued to sway, his words getting a little stronger. He could almost hear his voice joining in. Just like he used to.

He tried not to look at the pictures that still hung on the wall. He had once torn many of them down, and half of those that were left were crooked or broken. It was too hard to look at the pieces of the story that he would never get to read the rest of.

His head fell back, tears falling past his lips as he sang their song louder. He was _sure_ he could hear his voice again, singing along with him. An arm came around his waist, a hand grabbing his. A body flush against his. It was cold, but familiar.

"Axel?"

The arm held him closer as they continued to sway back and forth, turning in small circles in the middle of the room. "Are you ready to go, Roxas?"

Roxas had been waiting for this day. The day the loneliness would finally take him away.

"Yes."


End file.
